every time i tell people that i dropped out, they freak the f*ck out.
i mean, i can’t blame anyone. such a decision feels drastic, maybe even a bit reckless.
but honestly for me, it was a long time coming.
this decision was about something deeply personal—a return to a life that felt like my own, something i’d been chasing since i was a kid.
let me explain.
ever since i got my first dsi, i was endlessly curious about this wonderful thing called the internet.
6-year-old me would spend hours creating—sharing drawings on pictochat, filming little movies with my dsi.
when i got my first laptop at 9, my love for digital creation really took off.
i’d grow to go down random rabbit holes making viral undertale fan games on scratch, guides for pokemon rom hacks, and even selling roblox cheats.
no rubrics, no deadlines—just the thrill of building things that excited me.
but when high school, then college, came around, that spark started to fade.
the freedom i’d felt as a kid got buried under schoolwork, grades, internships, and the pressure to fit a mold.
by freshman year of college, that spark was almost gone.
i didn’t want to live that way.
4 months in, i knew i needed to make something of my own again. that one project led to the summer of building, where i got a glimpse of an education that actually fit me.
college burnout & a broken system
when i entered uiuc for computer science, i honestly thought i’d learn so much more.
i expected hands-on projects, solving real-world problems, and learning what building software in the real world was like. i thought college would prepare me to create things that actually matter.
i was wrong.
instead, i got theory. algorithms and data structures we’d memorize for exams, with little connection to actual software development. it felt like they were teaching me about building, but not how to actually build.
sure, there were a few class projects here and there, but they felt half-baked or painfully slow. the curriculum just wasn’t keeping up with the fast-growing tech industry.
outside of class, i was diving into web development, design, ai, and building software that people could actually use. i learned more from community-curated resources and self-driven projects than any lecture or lab could.
self-directed learning became my real education.
look, higher-ed has its place. but for software engineering, i think there’s better options.
a call to create
dropping out wasn’t just about leaving college; it was about learning how to build in the real world.
i’m forever grateful for on-campus builder communities like buildillinois and iventure accelerator, where i experienced what it’s like to build alongside others who share that same creative spark.
these communities were incredible—they reawakened my love for creating and showed me the power of building together.
every project, every exchange reminded me that the best learning happens when we’re in it together, collaborating and challenging each other to solve real problems.
but at a certain point, i knew i wanted to take this passion beyond the campus bubble.
spending three days at buildspace showed me what’s possible when that same energy exists outside of school.
seeing so many driven creators working together in one place—sharing insights, experimenting, building things that mattered—was like seeing a glimpse of what the “real world” of building could be.
it made me want to dive in even deeper.
that’s what led me to san francisco.
i don’t want to build in isolation, and i don’t want to limit myself to just the “college bubble”.
i want to be in a place where creating is the norm, where people don’t just talk about building but actually do it—together, in real time.
there’s no better way to learn than to be surrounded by others who push me to create things that matter, in ways that can’t be taught in a classroom.
questioning everything
but this choice goes deeper than career or education; it’s existential.
for the longest time, i’ve started questioning everything.
what’s meaningful? what’s real?
recently, existentialism and the idea that we create our own purpose became central to me.
if life doesn’t come with a pre-set meaning, then why should my path be predetermined?
staying on a narrow path—following someone else’s version of success—just didn’t make sense anymore.
it felt unfair to myself.
unfair to keep investing time in something that wasn’t helping me grow in the ways i needed.
in a way, leaving college became my way of stepping off that path.
free to ask my own questions. to follow my curiosity wherever it leads. to make things that resonate with who i am.
finding a new kind of community
leaving college also meant leaving a community, and that was one of my biggest hesitations—losing that sense of belonging.
but as i continued along this path, i found people who question things the way i do, who don’t want to follow the conventional route but aim to redefine it.
communities like buildillinois and iventure accelerator didn’t just support me; they empowered me to take this leap.
they showed me the power of being surrounded by people who inspire you to think bigger, build boldly, and challenge yourself.
i’ll forever be grateful. to anyone from these two communities reading this, thank you for giving me and fellow dreamers a home on campus.
when i went to buildspace for 3 days in san fransisco, i saw how this energy could exist outside the campus bubble. it really did feel like home.
these are the people who’ve shown me that, even though this path is full of risks, it’s also full of possibility.
being part of a community that doesn’t settle for “safe” is worth every unknown that lies ahead.
what’s next?
dropping out isn’t the end of my education; it’s a new beginning—a chance to learn on my terms.
i’m choosing this path, letting go of the “safe” route, to say yes to that kid who just wanted to create, to dive into what feels real and meaningful.
and now, i’m gearing up for the next chapter—a journey that feels both exciting and a little daunting. i’ll be stepping into a new environment, embracing new challenges, and continuing to build on this path i’ve chosen. more about that here.
it’s not going to be easy—the financial challenges, the uncertainty—they’re real.
but for the first time in a long time, i feel like i’m exactly where i need to be.
this digital garden will be my space to track it all: to document, to reflect, and to connect with others who feel the same pull toward something different.
dropping out wasn’t about giving up or running away; it was about reclaiming a life i’d started to lose—a life driven by curiosity, joy, and the freedom to build something meaningful.
maybe that’s the whole point.
🌻